Festive Cheer

Well, it's been a while since my last update. I just haven't really known what to say, it feels as though Hollywood walked in and rewrote the script for Christmas in the genre of WTF.

I'm usually (overly) honest on this blog, it's a form of therapy, so I might as well take a deep breath and begin at the beginning.

A couple of weeks back a lovely friend who I knew from VSO six years ago was in country. She works for a major international aid organisation in Pakistan. We went out, got well sozzled, and caught up on the whole six years. It was so good to see her again.

On her last night here we went to Heaven, a lovely restaurant with a gorgeous art gallery attached.

If I had $2,000 this one would be mine.

Part way through, D joined us, and we stayed talking about world politics until we were the last ones there.

She liked D: "You two can talk about anything," she said, giving him the nod of approval. And, yes, it felt like we could. Took me back to times gone by when we'd sit on my porch talking all night.

One of the things we were discussing was the recent report issued about American human right abuses (let's be blunt - torture) committed in Pakistan. My friend was worried about going back because she foresaw reprisals. 

She couldn't have been more right. Days after returning, the Peshawar school massacre occurred, with militants killing 149 civilians, most of them children, in an area she works in. 

An unimaginable end to the year.

I feel bad continuing with my own story after that, but I will.

A couple of days later I went to visit D at his place. I thought my house was nice - he lives in a palace. His former girlfriend's parents helped buy them a house. That relationship ended, he's now buying them out with the money he earns from renting the rooms, mostly to ex-pats. My jaw hit the floor when I saw the place, it's huge, with a lovely garden. I was impressed. Landed on his feet.

He also showed me a back issue of a magazine he'd started. Also impressive. It covered the music scene and night life in Kigali, sponsored by some big name bars and hotels. Apparently it did well, and I'd given him the idea for it! 

I asked him why he'd stopped producing it and he explained that, shortly before his relationship broke up he was planning to study abroad, so he wrapped everything up, then things fell through.

He also placed a thickly bound document before me, and I was more than a little surprised to see that it was a script we'd started writing years ago. He wanted to make a short film, and we sat up one night, teaching him how to format it. Since then he'd continued writing, turning it into a feature-length piece. I was astonished.

Let's have a pineapple picture break. I live for pineapples at the moment.

After relaxing at his place for a bit, there followed a mad night out with friends. My landlord is one of my best friends, and I value his opinion. As far as D is concerned, I've never been able to trust my own.

We headed to Sundowner. The first hint should have been when one of my friends stopped me in the street outside to say 'hi'. D just kept walking, didn't even shake hands, which is odd here. You greet everybody. Inside, things got worse. Gone was the talkative guy from Heaven, replaced by complete silence. I excused it as shyness, but it bordered on rude. 

After we'd eaten, my friends and I went on to Papyrus, but D decided to head home. The past few days had been a bit of a dream, I remembered everything I'd loved about him before. Suddenly, the bad stuff came flooding back. As much as we can talk 'til dawn, there's also a communication gap I was never entirely able to bridge. 

I decided to be brutally honest with both of us, and explained in no uncertain terms what my interests were. There is an incredible electricity when I'm near him that shortwires my brain.

"Fine, well if that's what you want," he said, sounding almost hurt, "I could just take you back to mine right now."

Yes! My mind screamed. That's absolutely what I want, what a nice idea! 

"But not right now," I said. "I need to go party."

My friends had gone ahead and I didn't feel right about ditching them when I'd said I'd catch them up. 

"But hold that thought."

With a little wave I trotted off to find my friends and proceeded to have a fabulous night. 

Puzzled, though. What's his hang-up? However badly we didn't work in other ways, the bedroom was always fantastic. If he didn't want that, what was he after? 

Then the whole bedbug thing happened. 

This is a bedbug, in case you've never seen one.
And, yes, they do bite!

A plague upon my house for the naughty thoughts I'd been having. So I moved in with my friend across town for a few nights.

When I returned, the grasshoppers were out in force again. Hundreds off them in the garden. I switched off the lights to watch a movie and just kept hearing this dull thud as they hopped up and down on a cardboard box in the corner. They're such funny little things, get everywhere. Sadly, all dead by morning.

A pretty standard story so far, right? Dull, I'm sure. 

Then came Christmas Eve. 

Got into bed and opened my book.
Look what the first words of the sentence were! Spooky.

What a day.

First, D sends me a text saying he'd like to come over and watch movies with me. I hadn't heard from him for several days, so you can imagine I was pretty happy about the idea. I had no plans, so said I'd call him when I got back from town and figure out a time.

In town, I meet up with a friend who had just returned from Kampala. He'd been robbed whilst he was there, thankfully got his iPad back but they made off with $150! It was the cleaner at the hotel.

That was just the beginning of the story. Turns out someone I considered to be a friend (stayed with me a while back) had just been arrested for attempted murder. In a fit of jealousy, after his lover said he was leaving, he hired hitmen to kill the guy and went with them to watch!

I was speechless. I knew this guy, and I just couldn't reconcile the two images. I think you can tell a lot about someone when they're drunk, and when this guy was drunk all he wanted to do was kiss everybody and hug everybody. I never saw a hint of violence about him.

My friend, whose judgement on character tends to be better than my own, felt that although the guy wasn't exactly violent, neither did he think through the consequences of his actions. That perhaps it was all a bit of a game to him and he didn't realise how serious it was. Still, it's one thing to hire hitmen to kill someone from a distance, but to go with them and watch? 

I wouldn't have believed it only he had admitted it to his best friend, and he would never have lied to her. 

What was slightly more difficult to believe was that he'd since bought his way out of jail (apparently you can do that in Uganda) and was lying low until it was safe to return to Kampala. The guy they'd attacked hadn't died, but it didn't sound like he was even going to stand trial for it.

Too strange for words.

So, knowing my complete lack of judgement on all things obvious to others, it'll come as no surprise to you that I spent Christmas Eve being stood up. D has a hundred different phones (something my friend rightly says is dodgy) and they were either off or left to ring. No text, no call... nadda. And what pisses me off more is that I had the offer of spending the evening with friends instead. I blew them off to sit by myself like a total lemon, thinking 'I'll just give it another half-hour...' 

And they'd warned me. All of my friends, new and old, those who knew him from before and those who had recently met him, kept telling me he was a waste of space, but would I listen? 

(Cathryn, if you're reading this, I am truly sorry. You were right and I was a monster.)

To top it all off, the power went out.

Sitting there in the dark (except for one Christmas-scented candle), feeling like a total dick for blowing off my friends.

Live and learn.

Woke up this morning to open presents from home.

My family know me so well.

That last top is totally sassy. An off-the-shoulder piece with a low neckline and ribbons! Definitely wearing that for New Year. 

D? D, who? I'm placing my love life squarely in the hands of my buddies from now on. As I've been such a disaster left to my own devices, I can't see this approach could be much worse. Plus, there's still someone I've placed a question mark over. I was intending to answer that question when D bumped into me in the street. Should just have kept on walking.

However, it's also raised some other questions in my mind. Talking to my friend working in Pakistan got me thinking. I've never been particularly career-driven, falling into things by accident rather than design. She sparked my curiosity, and I think in the New Year I might start spreading my net a bit wider. This time next year, I either want business to be booming, or I need a job that provides a decent R&R cycle. I'm very happy here, but perhaps I could be happy anywhere. I'd just like to do the traditional Christmas next year. Get enough money to go back to the UK now and then. Travel a bit more... I dunno. If seeing D again has taught me anything, it's that I fall too quickly into old patterns. Maybe I should aim to get away from all of this and go do something completely different? After all, I was only intending to pass through Kigali. Now look at me: identity card, long-term visa, rent, VAT, post box... I guess I'm proud of all of that, but it is a little scary.

We shall see. I'm in no hurry. Got an interesting interview tomorrow in the Human Rights field, which is something I'd quite like to break into. Shan't hold my breath, but new year, new prospects.

Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas and a roaring New Year! x