Drive On

Oh my goodness. I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life! 

So, I ask Damascene to clean right under the beds because they're starting to gather dust there. I come home to find my mattress outside in the yard.

For the past month or so I have been noticing little beetles on the bedding. They look like weevils and I didn't think much of it. Just - oh, hello little beetles.

Turns out they're not harmless little beetles after all. They're blood-sucking, vampiric bedbugs. 

Roll on fumigation of entire house.

Mixture of boiling water and a white powder that lists confusion and convulsions as side effects - 'no known antidote'. Good stuff!

My landlord came over to help spray, but the spray pump didn't work properly so he ended up putting it in a watering can and basically drowning everything.

No way I could stay in the house until it was safe again, so packed up all my belongings and moved onto his couch in Nyamirambo, right the other side of town. I was only going for two days, but I'm terrible at packing light.

Just discovered the joys of Whatsapp (and how annoying it can be) and used it to text a photo of my flight to my dad back in the UK. I'm getting very good at all of the following on a moto:

• Going over speed bumps at high speed - no hands
• Texting
• Taking photos
• Checking to see if I've remembered my keys
• Giving myself a shoulder massage
• Carrying three large bags of groceries and a double duvet spread

Seriously, I'm talented.

My friend was so lovely. He offered to move out of his apartment but I said the couch would be fine.

That night we went to Sundowner to get royally squiffy with his friend L (who's a bit of a celebrity here - a model - gets stopped in the street a lot) and D, who abandoned us when we left for Papyrus. Turns out he's still as quiet as ever, and my friends and I are a bit of a mad bunch when we get going.

We had a late one. Got back at about four, which was what I needed in order to fall asleep on the couch. But the next day I was totally knackered. Went over to Jo's and fell asleep on her floor for two hours whilst she and Zuba watched movies. Not before we sat in her beautiful garden with our feet in the paddling pool. They've just cut down some trees at the bottom of the garden and she now has an incredible panoramic view of Kigali.

(panoramic - click to enlarge)

Before

After

Fun with paddling pools.

And ice-cream.

Apparently it's Christmas

Survived the couch again and spent yesterday down Alpha Palace swimming with Isaac.

Couldn't resist Facebooking this to Brad, an American guy
who was here before - his catchphrase was 'douchebag'.

Whilst we were swimming, L was training models for his company in the gym next door. We went to watch for a while. It was quite fascinating. Lot of very pretty people. Lots of walking up and down whilst pouting.

After, we went to this excellent little place called Tally in Kabeza. They sell the best burgers and mango smoothie I have ever had. Way better that Bourbon or the big hotels, and much cheaper. Toilets were the only let down, but the service, speed of food and quality were incredible. Really worth a visit.

Then we tackled the bus home. Since I left five years ago, all the little buses have been replaced with swanky big buses. Sadly, they are so dangerous. It really annoys me because Kagame has been pushing this road safety initiative to try to reduce road deaths, but the buses are purely profit-before-human-safety. They pack as many people on as possible, to the point where it is horrifically uncomfortable and totally accident prone. There is hardly room to breathe. Then we sat on this bus for almost an hour whilst they tried to pack more and more people on.

The bus only left when the passengers started to riot. They were banging the poles and shouting loudly because they had been crammed in like sardines and were going nowhere. It was the worst public transport experience of my life. Although the old buses were uncomfortable, at least there was no standing room, so everyone had a seat.

We were thrown forward three times as the bus came within a hair's breadth of running into vehicles in front, then thrown into the air as the driver forgot about a speed bump. At one point a heavily pregnant lady got on and the driver just put his foot down before she even had a chance to reach a chair. My friend had to put his hand out to catch her as she fell forward. It was astonishing how little regard the driver had for passenger safety.

I'm tempted to write to the Ministry of Transport. If they don't do something, the death toll in an accident could be truly disastrous. It's a really obvious tragedy waiting to happen. I reckon the driver probably bought his license rather than earned it. He was driving like a complete maniac.

I will never take another public bus here. Motos aren't so safe either, but that was insane.

Made it home eventually, although it took a good couple of hours to travel a distance that takes about twenty minutes by moto.

Anyway, my house is now bug free and I've finally come home, but I'll be sleeping in the front room on my only uninfested mattress tonight until things have settled. It's only been three days but it feels like a week. Got dive bombed by mosquitoes all last night so functioning on very little sleep whilst helping my friend with her tax returns. Thought I'd finished with all that for a while, but she's as mystified by RRA's online system as I was.

Just so glad to be home. Need to sleep (on anything) for a couple of days and recover. Still not sure what I'll be doing for Christmas, if anything. Had a few offers but I'll see how tired I am. Part of me would just like to spend it in bed reading or writing my next novel. Review copies of the current one are ready to go out - all very exciting.