Flowers and Teddy Bears

Well, I've entered the final year of my thirties. Turned 39 on 20th February.

Spent it very quietly but very happily. Took the day off work and started down the local pool, which I had all to myself. It was bliss. Then went to Kigali Heights for a glass of pink prosecco and a red-velvet cupcake, which I was craving. 

 

 

 

Followed it up with goat cheese and truffle pizza and a double scoop of almond and peanut & chocolate ice-cream. Then retired to bed for a nap and an evening of Ghibli movies.

 

 

Didn't go out because I had to be up at 6 a.m. to get ready for work the next morning, but it was just perfect. Had a lovely chat with my mum.

Just after dark, I received a knock on my gate. Opened it to find the most amazing thing in the world. Harris and Roberto are miles away in Luxembourg, but managed to fill my house with flowers and whiskey (picture up top). Couldn't believe it. Huge fluffy teddy. I was honestly a bit tearful as I poured myself a dram. To have such amazing people in my life.

Got up super early and went to work Friday. Was finished by 8 a.m. so swung back past Kigali Heights for pancakes and a much-needed caffeine injection.

Then went to another meeting, which blew my mind. One of the genocide survivor organisations I work for was turning 25 at the weekend. Our head of administration had been teaching beadwork to some of the widows and I was able to watch them making jewellery for the event.

 

 

 

 

 

      

The skill required is incredible. It takes a whole day to make one bracelet. What made me mad was that there was a company making bracelets this way in Rwanda before. They sold them to celebrities in America for a fortune, but for a piece that cost $600, the women who made it only received around $30. It was a well-known brand and my jaw hit the floor when I heard that. Seems so unjust.

I went out to meet a friend at a bar in town on Friday night. I got there a bit early, but, Kigali being the village that it is, I wasn't alone for long. I went to the bar to order a drink, sat down on the stool, looked to my left and realised I was sitting next to a good friend. Random. Then my other friend arrived, and a little while later, this guy walks in who I hadn't seen in about a year.

Kigali works this way, constantly. You could go out on your own any night of the week and be guaranteed to bump into someone and have a good time.

Pretty Bar Decor

Ended up at a nigh club. It was fun, but bumped into a Spanish guy I knew. As I was passing him, he put his hand between my legs and then groped me. I'm still angry when I think about my reaction. I did the typical female thing of politely brushing him off and going on my way, when what I should have done was offer to break his bloody fingers. It still makes me mad when I think about it. Just the entitlement. One for #everydaysexism.

The weather is still a bit mental. The storms are still coming. One swept through the other day and flooded my hallway.

Hoping it blows over soon, and it's nothing compared to the pictures coming out of the UK.

Found a cute bug seeking shelter.

I've been eating a lot of stir fry recently. Couscous doused in soy sauce, then thinly sliced carrots and marrow with fresh ginger and garlic. Good comfort food for the cold weather.

Had a great night Saturday. I went to a friend's leaving do and there was an excellent band playing a lot of modern songs. 

 

One of the people attending my friend's leaving do was an absolute honour to meet. He was a Canadian Peacekeeper in 1994, serving under Roméo Dallaire. He returned to the country for the first time since then in 2018. 

This was him in '94 at an orphanage. He recently found the boy second to the right again, who is now the founder of a local NGO for single mothers. It's a really incredible story, and an absolute privilege to sit and talk with him. It took a lot for him to come back as he still suffers from PTSD, but seeing how far the country has come has really helped. He is a seriously interesting and compassionate person and I hope we get to talk again before he goes.

On a random note, bought a nice red tie from the restaurant. Valentine's reminded me how much I like a nice tie.

Sunday was the 25th anniversary celebrations of an organisation I work for. They represent widows of the genocide and their families. It was a really big event and I got to see the First Lady, Jeannette Kagame, who is a staunch supporter of the organisation.

 

President of AVEGA, Valerie Mukabayire

There was a very good traditional choir there and the music was extremely moving.

Very humbled to be working with these organisations. Lots of interesting projects going on. Spent today visiting insurance companies to try to get one of our health clinics ensured so that we can start providing medical services to survivors and the general public. Feels good to get up in the morning and do something that matters to people.

Valentine Shenanigans

Was at CasaKeza, my local, the other night with my friend Solv and they had some traditional dancing. First time I'd seen flutes being played. Apparently, it's called a urusengo and it's made from umusave, which is the same local hardwood we used to make the piano. You can see more traditional dancing here.

It was a beautiful night with a big full moon to light our way as we stumbled home. 

 

I am still loving my local swimming pool, though it's best when you get there early in the morning as afternoons tend to be family time. I was the first one in the other day. Nothing like having a whole pool to yourself. Free to do pull-ups on the diving board without an audience.

Had a very interesting week. Lot of editing work coming in from a company I forgot I had a contract with. They hadn't called me in about a year, then suddenly two jobs out of the blue. One responded, 'thank you for your excellent edit.' Always nice to be appreciated. 

Also got a call to go tune this lovely 40-50 year old Nieer piano. Originally from Shanghai, now belonging to the American Ambassador's family. Gave it an overpull and will pop back in a couple of weeks to see how it's holding.

So, then we come to Valentine's Day. 

I suggested me and S call it quits last week. You can't expect such a new relationship to survive when you're both on different continents. Christmas wasn't fantastic, he left on New Year, I knew he wouldn't be back for Valentines or my birthday. No idea when or if he was returning, and 90% of our communication was in emojis. Being in a relationship was exactly the same as being single, so thought it was probably best just to call it. But we parted as friends, which is much better than the way it originally ended. He's a really nice guy, but we just have completely different priorities and expectations. 

So, that left me free for Valentine's, which can be a bit shit if you're single. Luckily, all my friends are too. My first group of friends, the Friday Girls, decided to get together for Fuck Love Friday, then a second group of friends invited us to Singles Awareness Day at Soy, which is an incredibly pretty restaurant in Kimihurura. There were around thirty of us and we filled two tables. 

We were discussing dress codes and I decided to go with cross-dressing. Took my favourite hat with me and put on a dandy tie.

Got there in time to meet my date...

I wasn't entirely sure I was in the zone as I headed out. It had been quite a long week and I was a bit tired, but it ended up being, without a doubt, the best Valentine's Day I have ever had. It was mental. So many fun people. One weird French guy who insisted on attempting to swing dance with me, throwing me around the room - it was a miracle I stayed upright between the alcohol and my mashed ankle. Got into a deeply political debate with lovely Lawrence. Licked salt off Solv's neck and drank far too many tequila shots. Then we all ended up at Sundowner, where I stayed dancing until 2 a.m. when someone threw a margarita over me and I turned into a pumpkin.

It was just a seriously good night where a whole group of people had a really fun time. Thanks to Odette for organising it. And, weirdly, I got a free pass this morning. No hangover at all. That means the next night out is probably going to sting.

Roadside Assistance

Lovely night out Friday with the girls.  Decided to expand my social life now Maia, Harris, Sameer and a few others have left. The Friday Girls - we go out on Friday nights for dinner and drinks. This coming Friday is 'Fuck Love Friday' in honour of Valentine's Day, and we had a lovely brunch at Heaven yesterday which lasted about two-and-a-half hours. 

Olivia, on the far right, is a member of the local animal rescue, WAG, and helped save Sen's life a few years back. We bumped into each other again recently at a party and realised we were both born at the same small hospital in Oxfordshire. What were the chances?

The weather here continues to be too much.

Went back to Bugesera to check on the piano there and had to negotiate some pretty impressive puddles. The wetlands were struggling to cope with all that water. The weather has been so bad that lightning has even been blamed for killing mountain gorillas.

Work has been good. This is my room at the ministry, where I deliver training very early on a Tuesday and Friday morning. Really good group of people and enjoying working with them.

Had the scare of a lifetime the other day. Was on my way to the swimming pool when I saw a man face-down in the road, in a puddle of drool. His flip-flops had been flung off his feet. I thought he'd been hit by a car and when I reached him I honestly thought he was dead. Was absolutely heart-stopping.

I watched him for a moment and saw he was breathing, but didn't want to move him in case he was seriously injured, so just stayed with him. Eventually, he moved and I managed to get him to the side of the road, where he explained that he'd had an epileptic seizure. 

The most disturbing part about this was that I was calling out for help, trying to wave down cars, and not a single one stopped. People just stared at me blankly and drove past. It was horrific. I was panicking, but trying desperately to appear calm so as not to scare people away - but it made no difference.

Because I was on my way to the pool, I didn't have my phone on me. Thankfully, a couple of young lads walked past and agreed to stay with him whilst I ran home to get my phone and call Emmy for a ride to the hospital. 

I took him to my doctor and had him checked out, then to the shops to buy him food. He appeared homeless and said he had two children and no job. He had a wad of epilepsy medication on him, but the doctor thought it might not be working because he wasn't eating properly. Hence the trip to the supermarket.

It was a hell of a shock.

When I posted about it on a local community forum, things got interesting. I posted about how angry I was that nobody stopped, and a whole load of people replied saying they'd had the exact same experience. Both finding a guy face-down on the road and that nobody stopped when they called for help.

It's looking more and more like the guy is doing it for food and money, though he must be extremely desperate to lie in the middle of oncoming traffic. He could easily get hit by a car - or someone who stops to help him could. Very dangerous idea. 

Still, I'd rather stop for a hoaxer than walk past someone who genuinely needed help. It's not the first time I've taken someone to the hospital and had people stand around staring, and I've experienced it myself when I was mugged in Cardiff, and nobody stopped to help. It's a global phenomenon. There's some interesting articles on why people don't help in an emergency (this and this). It's some seriously messed-up psychology.

My doctor is trying to follow up to find out who his doctor is, to confirm his situation so that we can treat it if genuine. If not, his days as a conman might be numbered now that so many people know his name and are alert to the issue. 

On the way to the hospital, we saw someone else who was having a bad day...

I eventually did manage to get to the pool, much later in the day than expected. I found someone who taught me butterfly and I'm trying to crawl without drowning. I'm a strong swimmer but only with breast/back/side stroke. Now I have an unlimited pool pass, I'm getting a bit bored and wanted to spice things up a bit. Butterfly is utterly exhausting, but I was surprised it isn't too difficult to get the hang of. The other thing that surprised me - and I'm feeling a bit smug about - there's a diving board there. Every time I go, I see men using it to perform pull-ups. I waited until the pool was really quiet, then had a go. I managed to lift myself right out of the water until my nose was above the board. It wasn't difficult. I think it's all that time tuning pianos. It's made me strong. 

I really love swimming. I never used to go because it's expensive, but with my new job I can afford a quarterly pool pass which works out pretty good. I like to go before work when I can. And the pool has showers, which is useful at the moment because there's been a lot of water and power outs during the rain. It's a bit inconvenient, but does allow me to use my old-fashioned kettle. I've been binge-watching Anne With an E lately, and it kind of goes with the genre.