Saturday 28 December 2019

Heartache

I don't even know how to start.

Can't wait to see the back of 2019. There's been some nice memories, such as my parents visiting and hanging out with Harris, but overall it's been an awful year.

My heart is hurting.

Things are over with S.

As a last 'fuck you,' his company booked him tickets home to India on New Year's Eve - and he took them.

He had an interview lined up, and a house he wants to rent out, but I thought we'd deal with that in the new year. He felt otherwise. The night before, we'd been talking about spending new year in Kigali or maybe going to see his friends in Uganda, but then he came home and said he was leaving.

I wonder if his company did that deliberately, like so many other things they've done to make life miserable. But he could have said no. It seems strange to leave a company because they're controlling your life only to allow them to control the most important part of your life on the day you leave.

To top it off, I was in bed sick. He told me whilst I was huddled up in a duvet taking my temperature, which - as you know from previous health posts - means I reacted with all the emotional control of a toddler.

We had an argument. He left.

My friend Jo came to collect me and took me to the hospital. She sat with me for an hour, translating from French and showing her young daughter all the procedures such as taking blood pressure and blood samples. The rapid test for malaria came back negative, thankfully, but I have some sort of bacterial infection that's gone to my kidney. The doctor told me to sit on a table and pressed my tummy, asking if it hurt. "No," I replied.

Then he asked me to sit up. He thumped one side of my back.

"Did that hurt?"

"No."

"Okay, does this hurt?"

He thumped the other side and I almost passed out.

Lots of tests. I really didn't understand the figures, but one was supposed to be between 0-6 and I scored 48, another you're supposed to be between 60-70% and I was 89.8%. I'm back on antibiotics, so can't even drink over New Year. Perfect end to a perfect year.

I spent the night at Jo's and she drove me back to Kigali this afternoon. Right up until we left I was hoping his car might pull into the drive or he might text to say he'd changed his mind, but life's not a movie.

I was just so looking forward to 2020. There were so many things I wanted us to do and places I wanted to go, but the combination of his job, my health, and the geographic distance between us was just too much for a new relationship. That's what Kigali was supposed to be about - seeing whether we could live together and wanted to take this further. I guess I have the answer, but it hurts.

Jo and her daughter were amazing. I owe them so much. They also provided kitten therapy. Two babies born behind her house. Cuddling kittens always helps.

 
 


Coming home has been really tough. The chairs are still on the porch where our friends were sitting when we left, the bed's unmade and the place is full of dead flowers. Need to do some tidying up, but think I'll spend the next couple of days examining the underside of my duvet.

Everything hurts, body and soul.

Might still go to Uganda with a friend for New Year, the thought of spending it alone is pretty bleak. Just looking forward to the 31st being over because up until that point you're still thinking about things, but once it's done, it's done.

Going to look after myself, get through the meds, get plenty of sleep, watch endless soppy films and cuddle my cats. 

Here's to 2020.

I'll post again when I have something happier to write about.

Friday 27 December 2019

Merry Christmas


After my board meeting on Sunday, I went with my fella up to Gisenyi so we could spend Christmas together. We had a fun lunch with his friends in Kigali first, including a large quantity of pink gin. *hic* 

Had a nice couple of days with friends in Gisenyi, fish at Tam Tam and  drinks at Serena, where we had apple pie and ice cream on Christmas Day, despite ear-splitting children's entertainment by the pool.


Not the most relaxing atmosphere at Serena, but we decamped to Inzu Lodge for more drinks and a game of igisoro. It was wonderfully peaceful there and a nice view.





Quiet day celebrating S quitting his job at the tea plantation. He'd worked for the same company for years, then they went bust last year and the gardens in Rwanda were taken over by another company who set about dismantling the community that had built up over the years and generally making people's lives unpleasant. When S went back to India for a holiday earlier in the year, the company moved a random stranger into his house with no consultation, even though there were two other empty houses right next door and he explained how this put a strain on our personal life. They did a load of other petty things too, and just generally acted like arseholes. It seemed they were angling for constructive dismissal so they didn't need to pay severance. Under those circumstances you have two choices: stick it out as life gets progressively more unpleasant or accept that's the way they're going to behave and leave. 

He'd been thinking about it for a while and I think it was completely the right decision. Within minutes of putting in his resignation he was receiving loads of calls from friends and colleagues. A couple actually drove over an hour to come take him for drinks. It was really touching and showed how much people like him and will miss him.

The plan is for me to go back to Kigali with our friend Jo tomorrow to give him time to finish packing, then he's moving down to Kigali with me for some well earned R&R. There's maybe an opportunity on the horizon and we have a couple of friends handing out his CV, but just desperately looking forward to spending some actual time together. We got together in July, so five months, but he was out of the country for one of those. The distance between Gisenyi and Kigali, and his regiment working hours, meant we haven't spent that much time together in reality. I just can't wait to fix that. It'll be hard for sure. There's always two stages to resigning from a job - the thrill of freedom and the panic of 'what next?' but who cares, we can work that out together. For once, we have time.

Monday 23 December 2019

Bouncing Bridges

  
Feels like months since we had a full day without rain in Kigali. Texted Sam to ask what this strange yellow object was in the sky. We concluded it's probably a UFO.

Things were a bit quiet after Harris and Ian left, but he came down to visit last weekend and we had a lovely time. We went for a meal and on the way home he pulled over by the flower seller and bought me a huge bunch of flowers.


There were so many, I managed to get three arrangements out of it: red, purple and mixed.

 
 
 

Hung out at PiliPili by the pool with mojitos.


Then we headed to Bugasera for a night. My friend owns Bugasera Lodge. I'm helping to repair her piano so she gave us a night gratis. We went via Golden Tulip hotel for a swim in their huge pool. We arrived just before sunset and the lodge was so beautifully lit with gas lamps along the path. Had a gorgeous four-course meal of beetroot soup, fish, cheeses and pudding, and played some ping pong.

On the way there.

View from our room.

Ping pong by fairy light.

The next morning we went for a walk down to the wetlands where we crossed the most incredible bridge. It's a floating bridge across the marsh, made entirely from reeds and twigs. Strong enough for people to cycle across, but it bounces as you walk. Never seen anything like it.





(panoramic, click to enlarge)

A fascinating expedition. Rwanda Tourism should get onto this. If they put a little café at one end, the lodge at the other - it's a hidden gem. Then we headed back up the hill for breakfast.




Unfortunately, I had to rush back to Kigali for a board meeting, but it was a nice place to spend our first ever getaway. Huge thanks to Jocelyne for her hospitality, and for sending us home with a huge jar of home-made rhubarb jam.

Monday 16 December 2019

Goodbyes




It's been a fun-filled couple of weeks. Ian left on the 12th, making a memorable exit playing with our friend Andy of Viva Beats fame. Really well received and much beer consumed. Photograph courtesy of Harris.






We also had a really nice night out at The Hut and CasaKeza before he went, including a fabulous belly dancing display by Kigali's resident belly dancing teacher, Hilde.




Then it was Harris's turn to leave on 15th. A couple of nights before he left, we were at New Cactus and happened to look up to see shooting stars. Apparently this was part of the Geminids meteor shower. I hadn't seen one in years and they were really bright. Quite amazing.

The day before we did a lot of daytime drinking by the pool at Mille Collines, and we had a lovely couple of hours before he left for the airport, hanging out at his hotel with Mutzig and memories. He's been here working on his PhD on and off for a couple of years but this is likely to be his last trip as his thesis is due in March. 



One thing we've had a laugh about is that the place he stayed, Fat Mama's, is right in the shadow of Kigali's most haunted building. It's really bizarre. There's building laws in Rwanda which mean if you stop building for something like two or three years, the government can repurpose the land. This building looks like it might once have been a hotel that someone stopped building halfway through. It's creepy as heck, and especially so at night. One of those places you could imagine looking up at and seeing a mysterious figure in the window. Haven't found anyone who can tell me what it was yet, but it's right next to the UN compound, so perhaps they don't want it developing in case it compromises security, but still.... very 1408.




Life is going to be a bit quiet now that the lads have gone. Think my liver is giving a little sigh of relief, but going to miss them.

Farewell Selfie

Treated myself to another full English at ViaVia to soak up the alcohol. 


And really enjoying my new job. It allows me to work remotely, so I've been seeking out places to sit and concentrate, such as Inzora Rooftop Café. Not a bad office view.


Though it was quite entertaining signing a contract with myself and working out my salary and what benefits I'm allowed.

In other news, the piano project is coming along. Dés is putting my old Lirika back together. It was a 1968 Soviet piano we took apart to replicate the string frame for our own build. I wanted it rebuilt with a bit of a twist so we painted the frame purple and the casing black. It's looking good.




But there is some very sad news alongside that.

Three weeks ago, a plane went down in Goma, just over the border from Gisenyi in DRC. It crashed into a residential area.

News photo - read more here.
One of the houses it landed on belonged to the brother of our chief piano builder, Paulin. His brother was at church at the time but the crash killed his sister-in-law and their children.

Pauling, left.


We're holding a collection for him and his family. If you would like to contribute, you can do so here or contact Kigali Keys for mobile money details. Put Paulin in the payment note on PayPal and we'll make sure he gets it. Really sad news and our thoughts are with him.