Nataraja's Foot: Fairwell to the UK 2022

I can't believe how fast the time has gone!

But what a wonderful four months it has been.

I've seen Christmas lights at Sudeley Castle and Malverne.

Went for a wander around the Lake Districts for my dad's birthday.

Went on plenty of walks around Ravensthorpe Reservoir, my local village and the duck pond, complaining about everything from school PE lessons to mythical Phoostick-eating trolls.

The Guilsborough Witches

Saw my first grocery-delivering Starships.

Met up with my lovely Aunty Patsy who was passing through from Wales on her way to my mum's place for the annual family gathering. It was kept to just immediate family this year to keep the numbers down and allow people to socially distance. Her dog Oakie is an absolute sweetheart and we took her for a wander around Gloucester Docks.

I used to have a cat called Sula.

Stood in a very long queue on a grey, winter's day to get my booster jab. So I'm now triple vaxxed, but the UK system was built by Kafka and therefore I can't put my vaccinations from Rwanda on my medical records here unless I drive an hour to Peterborough to show them to someone... By the time I'm next in the country they'll hopefully have figured out a more sensible system. That or it won't matter anymore because my booster will be out of date.

Plenty of brooding British skies and pink sunsets. Gingerbread, hot chocolate and log fires.

Caught up with my fabulous cousin, Tamsin, who lives in the Hague. We rarely get to see each other, but when we do it's always a boozy, fun-filled time. We went to The Red Lion at Great Bowdon, which has an amazing outside seating area with heating and blankets. Seriously recommended.

Had a crazy Christmas Day with mum, Merrick, my brother Will and his partner, Anne-Marie. Plenty to drink and a huge roast. Mum asked what we'd all like, and we each gave a different answer, so she did all three: ham, chicken and duck à l'orange. There was yorkshire puds, stuffing and veg. Couldn't move for a week.

I did see a handful of snowflakes, but it's been unbelievably warm. I think it's the warmest Christmas and New Year on record or something? Temperatures of sixteen degrees at times! Unbelievable. But I did get one moment of mid-winter Narnia on the way to see my brother.

Tamsin's dad, my mother's brother, has a shed company in Market Harborough with a really unusual showroom. We went to drop off a birthday gift so took a look around. He's lined the main road that runs past the top of the office with loads of carved animals: gorillas, gazelles, a giraffe. Kids love it as they walk past, it's a bit of a local landmark.

Went over to see my brother and his new cat, Lyra. She's a little walking ball of floof. Admired his fish tank and he took me to his local caf the best sausage, bacon and egg breakfast bap in the world at his local caf. It was a bit of a comedy of errors because I got a flat tyre on the way to pick him up from his girlfriend's, where he was staying because he'd lost his house keys the night before. So, with a hideous hangover, he helped me reinflate my tyre with a bicycle pump and get it to his friend's garage, and I stood patiently whilst he drilled a hole through his lock and broke into his own house. You can't say we don't have fun.

After changing the tyre, his friend, Ben, gave Kitty a look over. She's still low on milage and her engine is in excellent condition, but there's some serious welding and rust removal needs doing underneath. Likely to be quite expensive, so waiting to find out how much. There aren't many of her type on the road anymore, and I still love driving her. Lot of sentimental value as we went been all the way to Poland together. Waiting to see what the damage will be.

Ben's friend Rory also took a look. He's a welding specialist with the most gorgeous dog called Doug the Pug, who sat on my foot the entire time. He's a little cuddle monster.

Satisfied my junkfood craving with fish and chips and a Domino's Pizza. You get lovely pizza in Rwanda, but it's usually traditional Italian stone-baked. Sometimes, you just want a cheese-filled-crust abomination, dripping with fat and garlic herb sauce.